So. Here I am blogging. I have been thinking about it for awhile, but what would I have to share that would be important to blog about??? I had my son Blake when I was 18 (I will tell that story at a later time) and no... I've never been married and it is just us. Always has been that way. Here I am 31 with a pre-teen boy. Never married and a career woman. Why is that a bad a thing? I can't tell you how many times I get asked the question "How long have you been divorced?" or the statement is made "Ohhh I'm soooooo sorry you are still single, the right guy will come along when you aren't looking!" Is that supposed to make me feel better? There are so many things that made me who I am today and I truly have always felt something awesome will come from it. It's so frustrating to be grouped into the "Single Mom" category. You know what I'm talking about. "Oh the money hungry girl, the slut (yes I said that), the lazy woman, looking for baby daddy woman, the something must be wrong with the woman.... since she's still single, and the OMG she has a middle schooler so how old was she when she had him!". Will I ever get rid of the stereotypes? All you girls in my situation are nodding your heads right now haha. And the comments from guys.... that deserves a whole 2 weeks worth of writing for sure and I will get to that. I've heard it all and you would be surprised how blunt people are. I don't think people mean to be that way, but it comes off like that. What I don't understand is why my situation is seen differently than those people who are divorced? You wouldn't go up to a divorced a person and say "Ohhhhh you are divorced? Wow that long???? You poor thing!". But yes I get that all the time. Anyways, I came home from work the other day (yes this single mom works) and I was thinking about my life. Day in and day out I pretty much have the same schedule. I don't know what my plan is and it was bugging me. What does Melodie and Blake's life have in the future???? As I reflect on the past and what I'm doing now I can clearly see certain things. Doors were closed for a reason and certain doors were opened for my benefit. The hard part is doubting the choices I've made (things I still struggle with... maybe I will elaborate later). But if I doubt myself and doubt the decisions I've made I will never move forward. Time to put my big girl panties on and face life head on. And no I am not talking about finding a man. I mean what is Melodie going to do with her life? It obviously isn't the norm, but what is normal anyways? Life moves on so quickly and I don't want to miss a thing, but where am I going? Am I in the spot I need to be in or is there something greater out there for my life? I'm not sure, but I do know that someday this crazy life of mine will make sense. - xoxo
I constantly struggle with the direction my life is heading. There is a fallacy of an American life path, ie. high school -> college -> career -> marriage + house + kids - retire. We become too wrapped up in the 'norm', when in fact this is not the norm for everyone. We each choose our own path, inevitably some will take different roads. I reached the 'norm' but feel my life has stagnated and now I'm not moving forward. I have become comfortable and complacent instead of advancing myself.
ReplyDeleteDon't be discouraged Mel, you are taking a different path. Dare to be different and not care what others think. Do what makes you happy and don't look back. You can spend a lifetime second guessing every decision you have made. Make a personal goals (job/travel/etc) and work towards them. I should eat my own dog food on this but I'm working towards that end.
FYI - don't worry about figuring life out, it's not possible. Be happy and don't be afraid to try new things.
Thanks Jared. There is a lot of pressure put on a of us to live a certain way or we should be doing something by such and such age. And of course you have the haters who always have something negative to say. I just want to have fun and live happy. Whatever that means....
ReplyDelete